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Priorities (BBJ, this one is for you)

nashvillegoldenflash

Hall of Famer
Dec 10, 2006
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BBJ, below is a post I made on the Kent State Report. I entitled the thread, "Priorities," and thought that I would share it with you. Please read and offer your thoughts. Thanks.

Christian- Husband- Father- Mentor- Building Men- Head Football Coach. That is the order of priorities on Coach Paul Haynes' twitter account. As a testimony of his faith, Haynes said in his introductory press conference back in 2012, "I’m a Christian guy and I truly believe that God will put me where he wants me. Timing is everything and this is a perfect time for me now.”

Haynes' priorities are much like that of the late Tom Landry, who said, "The thrill of knowing Jesus is the greatest thing that ever happened to me ... I think God has put me in a very special place, and He expects me to use it to His glory in everything I do ... whether coaching football or talking to the press, I'm always a Christian ... Christ is first, family second and football third."

In contrast to Haynes and Landry is Jimmy Johnson, who succeeded Landry as the coach of the Dallas Cowboys. But unlike Landry, Johnson divorced his wife of 26 years the day Jerry Jones hired him to become the Cowboys new head coach. In the article, "Jimmy Johnson wanted to win with Cowboys, so he fired his wife," Cheryl Hall recounts her memorable interview with Johnson. She writes,“ 'Above everything else, the thing that matters most to me as CEO is that we win,' Johnson said. 'There is only one goal. If anyone in the organization doesn’t have that goal, then I get somebody new in the organization.' "

"That apparently included his personal life. The day Jerry Jones hired Johnson, the new coach took his wife to dinner and fired her."

" ' I told her, 'I can either be head football coach of the Dallas Cowboys or married to you. I’ve decided to be head football coach of the Dallas Cowboys.' "

"That was the most shockingly blunt thing anyone has ever told me," writes Hall.

In the article, "New Redskins coach Jay Gruden really did want to spend more time with his family," Mike Bianchi addresses the conflict that football coaches have with their families. Bianchi writes, "So many football coaches talk about priorities but rarely have any. They become missing husbands and nonexistent fathers, skipping piano recitals and soccer games, missing wedding anniversaries and family funerals so they can tirelessly prepare and plan and try to figure out which way a silly ball's going to bounce next."

'' 'You hear football coaches list their priorities, and they always say religion first, then family and then football,' former Miami Dolphins and Miami Hurricanes head coach Jimmy Johnson once said. 'And yet they work at football 15 hours a day, seven days a week. And they spend an hour a week at church and two hours a week with their family. To me, that tells me football is first and everything else is second.' "

"Johnson came to a life-changing awakening late in his NFL career, but by then it was too late. He'd already ruined his marriage and missed his kids' entire childhood."

"I remember seeing an interview after Johnson's mother Allene passed away several years ago when the coach became distraught when talking about what a pathetic figure he'd become. You see, he wasn't there on the day his mother died because he was too busy with his team. And he wasn't there at the wake either because he was preparing for an upcoming game. And when he finally arrived at the funeral and saw his two grown-up sons and his cancer-stricken father, that's when it hit him."

" 'My mother's funeral made me realize that I need to spend some time with the people I care about,' an emotional Johnson said then. 'Coaching is 15 hours a day, seven days a week. And I've done that for the last 34 years. It cost me spending time with my sons, and it cost me a marriage.' "

Just as Johnson claims, Paul Haynes, like most football coaches, spends a substantial amount of his time with football but that is not always at the expense of his wife.

In the article, "His family make most of time they get with Kent State football coach Paul Haynes," Stephanie Storm explains how Haynes is able to include time with his wife. She writes, "Danita Haynes has a routine early Monday afternoons during the football season, that goes unnoticed by most, but means a lot to her in starting each week out right: spending time with her husband."

"That would be Kent State football coach Paul Haynes, whom she meets at the Water Street Tavern for lunch in downtown Kent. After a quick hello, she settles in, off to the side, and eats quietly by herself in a booth, selflessly sharing her husband of 10 years with a handful of die-hard fans and a small group of media for the next hour."

"When it’s over and Haynes gets ready to head back to his office on campus, she’s lucky to have gotten five minutes alone with him as he walks her to her car — just the two of them. But it’s five minutes of time well worth it every week."

"That’s how being the wife of a football coach works: a lot of support behind the scenes and taking advantage of a little bit of alone time whenever possible."

“ 'It’s just a little bit of time, but we’ve learned to take what we can get,' ” she said.

Certainly during football season, it's not easy being the wife of a head coach but as Danita will tell you, when it comes to her husband's priorities, she knows that the only priority greater than her is God. And as a Christian myself, I greatly appreciate a coach who has his priorities in the right order. Because a coach who puts football before God, wife, children, and parents will do anything to win even if it is unethical or against NCAA rules.

https://twitter.com/coach_haynes
 
Flash, honestly, I don't see how a head football coach can balance his family/work life, but I admire those who do (such as Tom Landry and Coach Haynes). I always admire anyone who has their priorities in order: God, family, work.
 
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